Unlocking the Patterns of the Body

How to find and release stuck emotion: A Q&A with Dan Bienenfeld

In 2022, when I finally realized I had broken my neck (See: “Broken Robot”), I called my dear friend Lauren Roxburgh, one of the world’s best body workers and fascia experts (See: “The WiFi of the Body”). Lauren decamped to New Zealand during COVID with her Kiwi husband, otherwise I would have rolled myself into her living room as soon as I was cleared for bodywork.

“Lauren,” I asked, “who would you see?”

Her answer came swiftly: “Dan Bienenfield. You’ve got to see Dan.”

Like Lauren, Dan’s modality is fascia—the connective tissue that’s wrapped around all of our muscles and organs and holds the patterns, and therefore the positioning, of the body. These patterns get set from overuse issues and habitual movements, as well as stuck emotions. I knew my body had been through something—even as my loss of consciousness proved a blessing, as I couldn’t remember what happened—and my neck, protected from additional harm by my body, would need to be slowly unwound and released before I lost range of motion.

While it’s hard to get time on Dan’s table (Hot tip: ask to be put on his cancellation list, info@danbienenfeld.com), we emailed back and forth about the right time for me to come in—and even then, Dan didn’t touch my neck for another six months. He slowly released everything on the neck’s line—starting with my fingers, hands, and arms, which had lost strength, particularly on my left side (I hit my head on the right).

I now have full range of motion in my neck, which I credit to Dan, though my neck proved to be small potatoes to resolve compared to a whole bunch of other holding patterns in my body: Shoulders that I learned to roll forward when I was young to minimize my height (and protect my heart), a hypervigilance about my middle back, and occasional sciatica flairs, which Dan miraculously solves by mechanically rotating my foot back out. The most moving parts of our session, though, emerge from Dan’s kinesthetic and emotional intelligence: He is a genius at getting me to connect story and emotion to pain in my body, and then he coaches me to bring my energy and presence to those places. As someone who seems to love to disassociate, this has been huge.

I asked him to share a bit about his work—including a video from his new Embody365 app that applies to all of us (you’ll find it below). He also shares some processes for re-storying the body that give me chills, in part because they are beautifully aligned with some of the exercises that Courtney and I offer in Choosing Wholeness Over Goodness.

You can also follow Dan on Instagram where he shares simple moves to release tight and painful spots. Dan is one of the primary teachers of SI (Structural Integration) in the country, and has been practicing since 1978. I am so indebted to him for his attention and care.

Q: How do you describe your type of bodywork, and how you feel and sense the body?

A: I call it Hellerwork Structural integration.

It’s a somatic therapy, which is an offshoot of Dr. Ida Rolf’s work, which is typically referred to as Structural Integration or Rolfing. Hellerwork includes structural bodywork, movement education, and somatic psychology: I coordinate all three to release and process emotional holding in the body. Structural Integration works with the fascia, which is the communication network for our bodies. It’s also one of the most abundant materials in the body. The intention is to align and balance the body structurally, and then clear and release patterns of tension and rigidity that block fluidity, grace, and vitality.

My way of feeling and sensing the body is both visual, kinesthetic, and energetic. I can both feel and see the textures, postures, and rigidity patterns that are interrupting the fascial flow and interfering with the body’s movement and function. I release and better organize all of it, both structurally and mechanically. Our bodies are incredible organisms that are meant to be in alignment with the gravity field for top performance: People suffer from poor posture, rigidity, low energy, and even poor organic function when they are not. Gravity is the most powerful force in the universe, and if we don’t align with it, we suffer—when we align with it, we can thrive.

Q: What are some of the most common types of physical patterning that you see? And in your experience, do they share a common source?

A: Body patterns are unique to each individual, but many of us share the common ones.

These include: Sunken chest with head forward, sway back, hunchback, twists and asymmetries like one shoulder sitting higher, or one hip torqued forward, or one foot turned out while the other may pronate in. The variations are numerous. We all have some of these distorted patterns; reducing and balancing them can create a whole new lease on life.

Separately, we also all have holding patterns, meaning we tighten and grip areas of our bodies largely unconsciously. We get used to this holding and even though it’s robbing us blind when it comes to our energy, with the passage of time, the holding blends in with our fatigue. Many of us associate this strain with aging, but it’s really due to clenching parts of the body for an awfully long time.

Here are some of the most common pattern influencers:

1. Physical Trauma

These patterns come from an accident or event that leaves a physical impact, like a sprained ankle that holds rigidity and alters our gate with a limp, or an old arm fracture that can alter the way an arm swings. While the body’s protective movements make sense in the immediate aftermath to limit the range of motion for healing, they can stick around long after they’re useful if they’re not repatterned. And sometimes we’re not conscious of how our ongoing fear is inhibiting us from fully using a part of our body once injured: When this happens, the pattern becomes solidified.

2. Emotional Trauma

These holding patterns happen from a one-off or chronic situation that registers deeply in our emotional/nervous systems. Perhaps you grew up in an alcoholic family and experienced a lot of uncertainty, which caused you to be on guard: The result might be a holding and tightening pattern in the body that’s designed to protect you by keeping you vigilant. Sometimes a deep and significant loss that results in a heartbreak will tighten the chest, and then create labored breathing later in life. A method actor, to play a role, will put the emotional pattern into their body so that they feel the emotion: This often results in altering the posture to match the feeling. The body is very powerful when it comes to storing information to keep us safe. It doesn’t discriminate between whether a story is active or old.

3. Repetitive Movements

Activities of life are not always symmetrical, and neither are sports, like tennis, golf, operating a machine, sitting at your desk all day, etc.

4. Imitation

A child often learns how to hold and move from a role model, like a parent, or from looking at magazines, church leaders and other cultural figures, and even social media influencers.

5. Genetics

These play a role, of course, and can give us tendencies toward different patterns. The good news is that we are not stuck with the patterns if we work to release them. Many of my clients will say, “I have scoliosis and my mother and her mother had it.” This is true, but what’s also true is that we can reduce all kinds of patterns, even scoliosis, with good structural bodywork and stretching, strengthening, foam rolling, etc.

Q: When do patterns get set in the body? Is it workplace stress, i.e. tech neck, or sports injuries, or is it more subtle than that?

A: Patterns can get set anytime, even in utero, as seen on ultrasound imaging.

Children can begin pattern shaping as infants: If they sleep across the room from a door, they might turn when mom comes in and favor that side. Patterns can begin at any time, and our bodies settle into those patterns the longer that we frequent them. As we age, they get set as our fascia gets increasingly solid—eventually, we are “stuck” in those shapes. That said, we have ways of getting these patterns and shapes to clear, shift, and balance.

Workplace stress is just life stress: It contains pattern-influencing emotional experiences like deadlines and fear, and repetitive movements like sitting and typing on a keyboard. Even these influences can be improved with new awareness and movement training. One can learn to sit with great ergonomic awareness and biomechanics, which really makes a difference. If you look around, you will see terrible posture in nearly all age groups as people text and sit: These patterns result in tech neck and carpal tunnel syndrome and generally age us prematurely.

There are also subtle holding patterns that develop and are less visible. For example, if you experience a lot of workplace stress, pay attention and try to become conscious of clenching or bracing when someone you’re scared of, maybe your boss, approaches and will yourself to relax. Right now, as you read this, scan your body and find three places in your body where you are gripping. Did you find them? Everyone is holding. Popular areas are shoulders, abdomen and chest, thighs, and even the pelvic floor. For that matter, which hip are you favoring right now as you read this? Go ahead and reset so that you are even on both sit bones. Our movement habits are deep and can change with awareness and commitment.

Q: What are the long-term effect of patterns that might have been protective at first?

A: Eventually, unnatural patterns result in compression, deterioriation, and pain.

For example, if your knee is not aligned well, it will tend to twist and torque with each step, and eventually the joint will show signs of pain and failure. Our backs will ache and hurt when there are tension patterns at play. The goal must always be to align and create balance and get the body as close to a relaxed position as possible. Otherwise, we eventually suffer.

Many of us have bracing patterns from early childhood trauma or events. Deep holding in our legs or pelvic areas that may have protected us at one time, or fended off intrusion, still shows up years later: You will see that the body is still defending, protecting, and resisting. It makes it difficult to be present and free to express when we are tightening and holding from the past. With support, when we release these patterns, we can move forward and live freely, but it isn’t always easy to do this. We must do our work: We must process the pain of our past that is held as residue in our bodies, and we must release the physical and mechanical holding that maintains the patterns. This is doable and I encourage you to keep at it, delicately and self-lovingly. Find good somatic healers who are safe and experienced and invest in your life by moving forward by releasing the shackles of the past.

Q: How do you interpret the presence of pain?

A: Pain is a messenger.

Pain is usually saying that something needs your attention, something is holding and gripping, or something old wants your attention and focus to help it come out. Sometimes pain is just a cry for help to encourage you to tune into your body, which you may have been avoiding. Our culture lacks an ability to be in our bodies; we desperately need to come back to processing our feelings. We need these embodiment skills in order to feel inside of us and be present in our bodies. This is not so hard to do. Right now, as you are reading and likely in your cerebral mode (thinking), you can bring your attention into your chest and feel the sensations within. Just doing this for a few moments, throughout your body, will wake up trillions of nerves, which activate your fascia to flow back to fluidity. This simple habit will transform your body. It is what I consider to be the fountain of youth if practiced regularly. Feeling sensations within ourselves allows our body’s networks and systems to activate and flow, to regenerate and grow.

Q: What is the most effective way to relieve a pattern? Through manual manipulation? Awareness? Releasing stuck emotion or story?

A: Patterns can always change when we focus on changing them.

Through neuroplasticity, we know that we can shift, alter, and create new neuropathways by adding and strengthening new patterns. From the brain’s perspective, these structural and emotional patterns are no different than any other habit. They get formulated like a train track: Our systems go to them as a response or call to action. To change a pattern, we must first recognize what these patterns are. Take time to study yourself: Look in the mirror and see, sense, and feel yourself. Study your walk and the way you stand. Pay attention to the way you are with people, or alone. Notice your expressions. These are your patterns. As you make new choices, you establish new train tracks. These must be strengthened through repetition, so don’t give up! Structural Integration (SI) work can really help, because these patterns are embedded in our bodies and can be cleared and shifted with good fascial alignment work. I can manually move or manipulate your fascia, or release a part of your body, and a miracle might occur—but then your participation is required through practicing the new patterns. This is an essential step for the work to create a permanent shift.

Our body is our story, and our body reflects our behavior. When we begin to shift and change—both through thought patterns and through physically manipulating the fascia—it’s amazing what can happen. I had severe scoliosis when I was young, and when I went through Structural Integration, not only did my scoliosis correct, but I grew 1.5 inches taller and went from an extreme introvert to a mild extrovert! The personality is very linked to the body: Its shape, holdings, and all behaviors. Even the story of your life is told through your body, forever recreating the trauma of the past. We can perpetuate these core beliefs until we are willing to release and let go of our story.

Q: If we need to remove an emotion that’s stuck in the body, how important is it to know the underlying story?

A: For better or for worse, I believe that our stories reside in our body

Because of this, our awareness, consciousness, and perceptual lens will always shape the way we experience the world. As we grow free and more able to release our stories, we can become accountable for our experiences and let go of blame, shame, victimhood, and actually heal. The truth is that we can never really heal until we release victimhood—this requires a real commitment to free oneself. Once someone becomes accountable for their experiences, they can let go of blame, and choose life over righteousness, and choose the freedom to move forward.

Compassionate self-forgiveness is a very important tool from which to create this movement. Our past negative imprints encourage us to interpret reality so that we can re-fire negative beliefs and judgements: These are the glue that hold the whole complex together and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If one can simply see a negative belief as you would experience a bad magazine subscription, one that you decide to unsubscribe to, you can begin the process of letting go. If you go into your loving heart, and announce to yourself: “I forgive myself for subscribing to this belief or these judgements, and am willing to let them go,” we can often suddenly see the truth for what is really so, rather than holding on to an erroneous belief from the past that only taints the possibilities of our present and potential experiences. Next say: “The truth is, I do deserve to be happy, and I am capable of being successful,” or whatever your truth is. This will set you free.

If you want to release a pattern right now, find a quiet space and go inward. Remember a situation when you experienced a deep imprint that left you with a life pattern (for the purposes of this exercise, please don’t use the most traumatizing event of your life, but select a smaller situation). Here is a simple protocol:

1. Identify an event and the story that goes with it.

2. List the main resulting emotions from this event.

3. Tune into your body: When you tell yourself this story, where do you feel the main emotion in your body?

4. Stay with the physical sensations of this emotion and catalogue it.

Is there pressure? Is it sharp or dull? What is its temperature? Is it cool or warm? Are the sensations constant or do they come and go? Stay with it, just tuning into the physical sensations of the emotion resulting from the event. After a few moments of focusing, your autonomic nervous system will begin to discharge, and pressure will release from the mechanism that holds the event in your body.

5. Once you feel complete, and the sensation has dissipated, tune into the meaning you made from the event.

What beliefs or self judgements developed from what happened?

6. Now go into your compassionate heart and state the beliefs you synthesized from the events, as well as the judgements you held.

7. Say aloud: “I forgive myself for subscribing to the misbelief that ______. I forgive myself for judging myself as _____.”

8. Say aloud what the actual truth is.

9. Acknowledge and appreciate yourself for letting go and sacrificing your story for your freedom.

How do you feel?

Q: Are there basic movements that we should all do every day?

A: I want everyone to become more conscious of the physical and emotional patterns they’re holding.

For the physical patterns, scan your body from head to toe daily, and notice if you’re gripping or tightening. Then, let go! Check in with your alignment and balance and lengthen yourself, up through the top of your head.

For the emotional patterns, notice what you are feeling and swiftly find where that emotion is living in your body: Feel the sensations of this emotion, and notice as they begin to discharge.

We are made of a fascial matrix that holds both the body’s form and shape, and it tends to rigidify and solidify, leaving us feeling restricted, tight, and old. To keep this matrix flowing, I recommend what I call the Fascia Flow Technique. I’ve researched the physiological efficacy of this technique, and it is effective if done regularly. Here is the protocol:

1. Scan your body from head to toe, bringing your awareness inside. Feel the sensations in your body—all of it—what’s tight, what feels good, what feels strained or twisted, and where there is flow or not. This act of going inside to feel is called interoception: The very act of going in and feeling activates the subtle movement of the fascial nerves and fluids.

2. Send images of shimmering light through your body, like a river of light: This activates the flow of fluids and wakes up fascial nerves for greater vitality. We are also made of light particles and sound waves at a nuclear level. Imagine you are sending “love” throughout your body—compassionate and generous love.

3. Breathe into all areas of your body, from head to toe. This increases regeneration and enhances energy.

4. Gently move your body and allow it to stretch and reach, tighten and release, and sway, all throughout your body. This liquifies your fascia and moves your lymph.

5. Generate a humming sound and allow the vibrations of your voice to reach into your whole body, from your head to your toes. This activates the fascial nerves and gets the fascia moving.

6. Shake your hands, arms, shoulders, neck and head, chest, hips and spine, legs and feet. This also activates lymph flow and enhances fascial health.

7. Bounce up and down while standing—this activates fascial nerves and clears lymph.

8. Go to stillness and feel all the activation from what you’ve just done! This is Fascial Flow.

I have created an app called Embody365 that teaches all of this to you for only five minutes a day for 365 days. Sign up—there is a risk-free trial, so go for it!

Here is a daily practice that can really help: It’s Day 111 out of 365 days of pure embodiment practices that will change your body and change your life.

Remember to check into your body and feel and sense regularly. This will promote circulation and lymphatic flow, which adds up to vitality, longevity, and beauty. You too can have a smart body!