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Your uncanny knack for dropping wise words and chewy food for thought into my inbox exactly when I need it is frankly disconcerting. Your words (for me) are gifts -- incredible keys that unlock new doors that lead to extraordinary places jammed with thought provoking questions and ideas and inspirations. When I read your blog I always feel less alone, more curious, and strangely empowered. Thank you for being brave enough to sound your unique barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world. Or as Communion Co. more succinctly put it, "Exactly This!"

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This part. "I appreciate feedback, and always want to know when I’m missing an angle or resource, or if I’ve gotten something indisputably wrong, but this is different: To me, it (unsolicited requests that we say what others want us to say) suggests that we are collectively so ill-equipped to process our own discomfort, pain, and bad feelings, that our only go-to is to take those bad feelings and wildly project them onto other people, making them responsible for causing said discomfort and pain."

This keeps happening to me, both privately and publicly. Thanks for putting words to it, Elise.

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No one needs to justify being obsessed with their life, for crying out loud! What else could possibly be more worthy of obsession?

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"Personal Development" sounds so much better. Maybe we could petition for the rebrand? 😉

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“I appreciate feedback, and always want to know when I’m missing an angle or resource, or if I’ve gotten something indisputably wrong, but this is different: To me, it suggests that we are collectively so ill-equipped to process our own discomfort, pain, and bad feelings, that our only go-to is to take those bad feelings and wildly project them onto other people, making them responsible for causing said discomfort and pain. And then we insist that they make the discomfort, pain, and bad feelings go away by reasserting and maintaining some sort of status quo. To this end, I offer therapy.” 🎯 🎯 🎯

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Elise! Thank you deeply for this essay as I truly believe that if we all took personal responsibility in our lives, we would be free of so much suffering.

I was there. I was that person who blamed everyone else for my problems. I was a slave to my external circumstances and boy did I suffer. My life is so full and rich as a result of me doing the work on myself (with so many varied healing techniques). It has been the hardest yet most gratifying thing I have ever done for myself and the world.

I am awake to ME. Hallelujah. So much gratitude ❤️

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One tenet of my sobriety is the idea of keeping my side of the street clean. I have to work on this continuously. This piece weaves that concept together - gorgeously. It’s a practice, a personal responsibility that collectively, if we all did it, has the power to heal us all.

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Hits home tonight- having uncomfortable feelings, identifying them and feeling comfortable though vulnerable to express them to my partner. Many years of therapy have helped this process along. Thank you.

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"it suggests that we are collectively so ill-equipped to process our own discomfort, pain, and bad feelings, that our only go-to is to take those bad feelings and wildly project them onto other people, making them responsible for causing said discomfort and pain. And then we insist that they make the discomfort, pain, and bad feelings go away by reasserting and maintaining some sort of status quo. To this end, I offer therapy. Or the “self-help aisle,” heretofore renamed the “personal responsibility aisle.” We may wish with all our hearts that the world could and would be different, but we can only really change ourselves and our ability to respond to said world. May we all build our internal containers." Amen, sistah😁♥️🙏🕊

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I loooove this read! Would love to be on the podcast to talk about this work around personal responsibility and how it brings deeper intimacy in our relationship to ourselves and others ✨🙏🏾

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yes ma’am!!! 👏👏👏

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Love this piece Elise. Specifically, your re-branding of “self help” as “personal responsibility” resonates for me (both as a therapist-in-training and as someone who has done therapy for years herself). Reframing our understanding in this way expands what it means to do therapy or get help for oneself, because taking responsibility suggests that the good work we do on and for ourselves has a positive ripple effect for those around us.

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This is so good. Thank you Elise xo

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I ❤️ the rebrand of self help to personal responsibility

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YES!!! 🙌

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Your words resonate so deeply. I love the term personal responsibility, and it would be great to cultivate a society that sees the importance of that. What a different World we would live in! Thank you for sharing the way you do!

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