Whoa, was just listening to today’s episode of The 1A (on npr) about “How gender affects the way we speak and how we’re heard” while checking email and receiving this post in my inbox!….Perfect timing
I have a job where I often need to interact with software vendors. Many web sessions I've been in are with men in their 20s/30s and I have been amazed at the amount of vocal fry I have heard from men. Much more than I hear from younger women. It's now to the point that I do not understand why it's associated with women so much when there must be a large number of men exhibiting it. My guess is it's only "grating" to a lot of people's ears when it comes from a woman.
It’s “bruh” town in my house of two boys as well! And P.S. my older son who is 10.5, has started saying “I don’t care” to what feels like everything.
My former female boss gave me similar feedback that at the end of certain statements the pitch of my voice would go up, which made me sound less confident. My therapist also gave me similar feedback once that it sounded like I wasn’t sure of the statement I just made, so I think for many of us, it’s unconscious.
I also had similar observations about Paris Hilton when I’ve heard her speak. My thought is “Why are you talking like a child” and then when she switches tone, “You are obviously smarter than you pretend to be.”
I didn’t even know what vocal fry was until some asshole commented on one of my YouTube videos that he just couldn’t listen because my voice was so wretched. I wanted to smack him.
As a speech therapist I'm very familiar with vocal fry. It's funny because the person who has the worst vocal fry is President Bill Clinton...but it's rarely mentioned. We tend to associate vocal fry with "valley girls" or most notably, The Kardashians.
Great read! The phrase "freeing the natural voice" reminds me of my longtime best friend, who I met in high school before he came out as a gay man. His voice around our close friends (and my parents) was what I'd consider his 'natural' voice. When speaking with his (not yet accepting) parents, however, his voice would go down several registers to something that presented more traditionally masculine. He is out, proud, and happy now and that fake voice is nowhere to be found :)
I’m taking a Spanish course right now and one of the things we are learning is the melody of the language. I am having to practice really hard to get that lift in pitch at the end of my sentences that native speakers have.
Ahhhh the irony! As a long time consultant in a predominantly male industry (software, less so now but I was often the only woman especially when i started 30 years ago and very young) I think I subconsciously learned to mimic their speech tones. One of my super powers as a consultant is the authority and believability conveyed when I speak.
I confess that I have that bias when I hear that lilt at the end of a sentence in English. I have the same bias with southern accents. However, I’ve had enough experience that tells me otherwise that I listen beyond it to hear what they’re saying.
I’m also fascinated with the criticism of Kamala’s laugh. I’m struck by how rarely the male politicians laugh. Am I imagining that? If it’s true, that’s a shame. There’s so much life and emotion in her laugh. She feels so much more alive and real because of it.
Another subtlety: that we all default to using first names for Kamala and Hillary while using the men's lasts--Biden and Trump.
I had this exact same thought today and spoke to my dad about it. Came to post this and so glad to see it already.
Whoa, was just listening to today’s episode of The 1A (on npr) about “How gender affects the way we speak and how we’re heard” while checking email and receiving this post in my inbox!….Perfect timing
I have a job where I often need to interact with software vendors. Many web sessions I've been in are with men in their 20s/30s and I have been amazed at the amount of vocal fry I have heard from men. Much more than I hear from younger women. It's now to the point that I do not understand why it's associated with women so much when there must be a large number of men exhibiting it. My guess is it's only "grating" to a lot of people's ears when it comes from a woman.
It’s “bruh” town in my house of two boys as well! And P.S. my older son who is 10.5, has started saying “I don’t care” to what feels like everything.
My former female boss gave me similar feedback that at the end of certain statements the pitch of my voice would go up, which made me sound less confident. My therapist also gave me similar feedback once that it sounded like I wasn’t sure of the statement I just made, so I think for many of us, it’s unconscious.
I also had similar observations about Paris Hilton when I’ve heard her speak. My thought is “Why are you talking like a child” and then when she switches tone, “You are obviously smarter than you pretend to be.”
I didn’t even know what vocal fry was until some asshole commented on one of my YouTube videos that he just couldn’t listen because my voice was so wretched. I wanted to smack him.
As a speech therapist I'm very familiar with vocal fry. It's funny because the person who has the worst vocal fry is President Bill Clinton...but it's rarely mentioned. We tend to associate vocal fry with "valley girls" or most notably, The Kardashians.
I am speaking. Period.
This is so crazy. My husband and I literally just watched Valley Girls yesterday. How funny. A lot of synchronicity with your posts lately.
Great read! The phrase "freeing the natural voice" reminds me of my longtime best friend, who I met in high school before he came out as a gay man. His voice around our close friends (and my parents) was what I'd consider his 'natural' voice. When speaking with his (not yet accepting) parents, however, his voice would go down several registers to something that presented more traditionally masculine. He is out, proud, and happy now and that fake voice is nowhere to be found :)
Like, gag me with a spoon, listener.
I just spit out my coffee!
I’m taking a Spanish course right now and one of the things we are learning is the melody of the language. I am having to practice really hard to get that lift in pitch at the end of my sentences that native speakers have.
Ahhhh the irony! As a long time consultant in a predominantly male industry (software, less so now but I was often the only woman especially when i started 30 years ago and very young) I think I subconsciously learned to mimic their speech tones. One of my super powers as a consultant is the authority and believability conveyed when I speak.
I confess that I have that bias when I hear that lilt at the end of a sentence in English. I have the same bias with southern accents. However, I’ve had enough experience that tells me otherwise that I listen beyond it to hear what they’re saying.
I’m also fascinated with the criticism of Kamala’s laugh. I’m struck by how rarely the male politicians laugh. Am I imagining that? If it’s true, that’s a shame. There’s so much life and emotion in her laugh. She feels so much more alive and real because of it.