Oof. I feel this. I know intellectually that my wants are just as important as someone else’s… and yet it’s so damn hard to say no sometimes. But when I don’t make self honoring choices then something inside of me is being compromised. I can’t fully show up for people in the way that I would like to.. and I end up feeling resentful.
I’m still on step one trying to define my wants and learning to navigate that internal landscape. Sometimes it feels like searching for my shadow with a flashlight.
Not knowing what I want paves a pretty path to take on the wants of others as my own, sometimes completely oblivious to it (thank you marketing tactics).
Thank you for this, Elise. I’ve been letting life’s contingencies get in the way of my actual satisfaction. Looking out instead of in. I’ve somehow convinced myself that the next shiny achievement, the next subscriber or the next personal development course will bring me closer to what exactly (?)
My wants aren’t out there but out there sure is convincing.
My husband and I call it the "if-then-whens" and we catch ourselves in it far too often even though we know its a myth. "Once the kids start sleeping through the night we won't be contentious to each other, once we add on to the house and have more space we won't be a snappy, etc etc etc." It really sets far too high of expectations on that future version of ourselves to be "better." But the fact of the matter is I can be a very well rested asshole!
Oof. I feel this. I know intellectually that my wants are just as important as someone else’s… and yet it’s so damn hard to say no sometimes. But when I don’t make self honoring choices then something inside of me is being compromised. I can’t fully show up for people in the way that I would like to.. and I end up feeling resentful.
I’m still on step one trying to define my wants and learning to navigate that internal landscape. Sometimes it feels like searching for my shadow with a flashlight.
Not knowing what I want paves a pretty path to take on the wants of others as my own, sometimes completely oblivious to it (thank you marketing tactics).
I also think this is a big deal. I know it well in romantic relationships but thinking about it in terms of leadership is 🤯
Ooof I'm so guilty of out-there-ness. What a call to action. Thank you for this much needed reminder.
Thank you for this, Elise. I’ve been letting life’s contingencies get in the way of my actual satisfaction. Looking out instead of in. I’ve somehow convinced myself that the next shiny achievement, the next subscriber or the next personal development course will bring me closer to what exactly (?)
My wants aren’t out there but out there sure is convincing.
Thank you for this and especially the quote at the end. A beautiful reminder that spoke to my heart today. ✨
My husband and I call it the "if-then-whens" and we catch ourselves in it far too often even though we know its a myth. "Once the kids start sleeping through the night we won't be contentious to each other, once we add on to the house and have more space we won't be a snappy, etc etc etc." It really sets far too high of expectations on that future version of ourselves to be "better." But the fact of the matter is I can be a very well rested asshole!